F*CK You 2019

Man oh man!

It's been a while since I was here writing at all...... Let me tell you what a shitty long year this was for our family! I mean yes there were lots of exciting and good times but a lot that sticks out were bad ones. Sorry in advance but this is a LONG post. 

Where do I begin..... with this adorable picture of my boys of course..... 

Oh and some Exciting news... Drayce popped his first tooth and Bentley went to his first Monster Truck show! 

But Now onto the shit show.....

Johnny had been getting nauseous and sick every morning, like he had pregnancy morning sickness. It was very weird! He went to the doctor a couple of times. But they just gave him some meds and sent him on his way. The vomiting and nausea didn’t go away and finally they recommended he do a stomach emptying scan. He had this done in mid February, The results of that showed he has Gastroparesis, which is basically delayed stomach emptying. It is common for people to get with uncontrolled diabetes. And although his is fairly under control with his pump, he does have sugar spikes throughout the day. They told him that he should watch what he eats as certain things, like grapes, tomatoes, soda or carbonated drinks could trigger a flare up. Johnny, I and a few of our friends decided that a cruise was much needed and so we planned that for the end of the year. Something now we can look forward to. :)

In March we got the paperwork from the fertility lab letting us know we needed to make a decision on what we wanted to do with our remaining 7 frozen embryos. We knew that we were not going to be having any more children but we still had those embryos that we needed to decide what we wanted to do with. There were 3 different options, thaw them out and discard them, donate them to another couple, or donate them to science. Obviously there was a lot of small print that you had to read through with each decision. In theory the best choice is donate them to another couple but we weren't sure that was the best choice for us, so we needed some time to look through everything and talk to our fertility counselor about first. 

To keep our minds off of the headaches, We took a friends group trip to the mountains and stayed in a cabin for the weekend. We had a lot of fun playing in the snow, playing games, laughing, and just hanging out with everyone.

  Back at home we were supposed to be having our hardwood floors refinished. When they came to get started they found that there was a small ongoing leak that was causing water to collect under the floor. After tearing out drywall we determined that it was behind the fridge where the water line connects to the valve. We then had to let that all dry out for a week and re schedule our appointment. Once they guys were able to come back and do the floors we were very excited with the way they turned out. 

To close out the month we were able to celebrate my Great Grandpas 94th birthday with him. 

 April is when Johnny's Gastroparesis really started bothering him. He was vomiting so much that he became very dehydrated and ended up going to the ER. He just went to the local one by the house and they gave him a few bags of fluids, ran some blood work and let him go home. The next day things we’re not any better so he went to the hospital again and they decided to admit him as his creatinine levels were pretty high. Because of his diabetes he’s had kidney issues for a while and had been seeing a kidney specialist who didn’t seem so concerned about is condition. They just gave him medication to keep his function or GFR number the same and not get worse. He didn’t feel like they helped him much so he didn’t go as often as he should of. In 2017 his GFR number was at 52, which is stage 3a kidney disease. He’d been at this level for the last 4 years. At the end of 2018 his GFR was at 44, stage 3b kidney disease. While in the hospital they ran his blood and his kidney function showed his GFR number at 31. So he has definitely started a significant decrease. He had to stay in the hospital for 3 day’s getting lots of fluids to bring his numbers back down to his normal level. He was finally released just in time for Easter!

To finish out the month we celebrated Miss Nevaeh turning 14. She also decided to go out of her comfort zone and try out to be a high school cheerleader...... and she made the freshman team as a flyer!!! We are so proud of her and are looking forward to the Cheer parent life. And as for me well volleyball is back on my schedule! 

May started with another round of bad news as our wonderful Daycare lady told us she would be retiring. Drayce has started to crawl, so now we’re all on our toes since he’s into everything.  Nevaeh ended her middle school years with a dinner and dance with her friends, an entire year on the honor roll,  and her art work being displayed in the art show. Bentley turned 3 and we had a Cars themed party for him. We are so fortunate to have such wonderful friends and all their kiddos to always be around to celebrate. My great Grandparents celebrated 75 years of marriage with an awesome get together for friends and family! After a few interviews we found a new Daycare for the kiddos and they are excited to start.

We couldn't be more excited about the warmer months ahead and started our summer with our annual Memorial Day camping trip with friends. Nevaeh went to Estes park for her first ever cheer camp in early June. She and her team earned a few awards, made lots of memories, and put on a great performance that Katie and I were able to attend. 


 But.... While at the performance we got a call that both the boys and Piper were exposed to hand foot and mouth at their new daycare. Just the beginning of all the new germs.  Johnny went to see a GI specialist for his stomach and then soon after that he was back in the ER for nausea, vomiting and dehydration. The GI doctor told him they wanted to go in and do a scope on his stomach to see how bad his Gastroparesis was. He had that done in mid June. The results were inconclusive because when they got in there his stomach was completely full of food, even after a 12 hour fast. They did however take some biopsy’s to rule out any other issues. The biopsy came back a week later and showed he had a very rare infection in his stomach called, Sarcina ventriculi. It’s so rare that there are only 8 known cases in the world. They prescribed him a very heavy dose of antibiotics. These made him even more sick with severe vomiting which sent him back to the hospital at the end of June, a week and a half after the biopsy. He was again admitted because his creatinine levels were super high which also showed his GFR number was down to 27. All of the fluctuations and hospital visits prompted a change in his nephrologist. The new doctor decided that a biopsy on Johnnys kidneys was needed. This will show whether or not there is cancer or anything other than a diabetic kidney going on. We felt like the new one seemed a little more invested in making sure we were headed down the right path for him. He was released on July 3 with his creatinine levels lowered and his GFR number back up to 47. The results came back nothing other than a diabetic kidney were shown. So good news there although there’s nothing to help his kidneys. 

We had camping plans with friends and family but we’re only able to make it up for a day trip on the 4th. The boys were well into their new daycare and things have been a little up and down for us. They both have been sicker then they’d ever been. Drayce has cried everyday I’ve dropped him off and the boys partner in crime, Piper, has had a few issues too. So we’re keeping a close eye on everything! 

End of July Johnny had another GI scope done after 3 days of liquid diet, to make sure that the infection was gone and to see how bad the Gastroparesis was. There was no bleeding in the stomach and the infection was no longer present. So that was a relief!

 Nevaeh has been putting in a lot of work with her cheer. She practices every night of the week. She’s improved so much since she made the team. We’ve finally had enough with the Daycare that we found and pulled the kids out ASAP! Always go with your gut in these situations. Picking your kid up time and time again with poop all the way up his back and being left in a pack n play for hours on end is not appropriate for any child! So now we’re on the hunt again. Thankfully Nevaeh is still out of school so she’s able to help us watch them until we find something. 

Throughout the spring and summer my shoulder had been really bothering me. I figured maybe I had pulled a muscle from volleyball, sleeping on it wrong or it was over worked from carrying these kids around lol jk, but seriously it was killing me all the time. So I decided to take a break from volleyball and go see a doctor. They said it could be a slight tear in my rotator cuff and to chill out and give it a rest and see how it does. After a lot of thought we finally made a decision on what to do with our remaining embryos. So we filled out all the paperwork and sent it to the clinic. I’m forever grateful they gave me my two boys but I’ll always wonder and think about those remaining 7. :( 

Because of Johnny's health and how exhausted he is every single day, we weren’t able to do as much as we normally do in the summer time. So before we knew it a new school year was upon us. Nevaeh is off to high school and the boys to another new daycare. Fingers crossed all goes well here! I have a lot better feeling about this one! 

We celebrated mister Drayce man turning the big 1! So crazy how fast that year went. We had a notorious BIG party for him and all our friends and family. Shortly after that Johnny was back in the ER for more dehydration, nausea, and vomiting. They once again did his labs and his levels now showed his GFR was down to 34. 

Nevaeh cheered at her first Football game and did amazing! Then we were already getting ready for her to attend her first homecoming! Man dress shopping now a days is a pain in the a** especially for someone who is petite as she is. But we were able to find her a dress and she looked so beautiful!!

 The boys were adjusting well to their new daycare and that was a huge relief! I still hadn’t seen too much improvement with my shoulder and after a little more thought and evaluation it was determined that my work station was causing me all of the aches and pains... so now we’re on to work comp doctors and massage therapists. Hopefully we’ll get some relief soon. I really am missing volleyball. It’s about the only thing I do for myself!

At the beginning of October Johnny was admitted back in the hospital for the same ongoing vomiting and dehydration. His levels now showed his creatinine level was above 3 and his GFR has dropped to 25, stage 4 kidney disease. All of the doctors were saying that the main cause to the nausea and vomiting was his Gastroparesis. It was critical he go back to see his GI doctors who’d then refer him to a specialist to see if they could come up with a solution to keep the flare ups down as there is no cure. By the middle of the month we were into a specialist who then told us all of the surgical options we had. But to start he wanted Johnny to complete a smart pill test which would show if there was any other internal issues with any of his organs. Basically he had to swallow a pill which would send data to a transmitter on how long it stayed in each of his organs as it digested. After he passed the pill he’d take the transmitter back to the doctor and they would read the data. They scheduled this at the end of October. 

On a higher note, We celebrated 9 years of marriage with a night out to dinner. Nevaeh also moved on from cheering at football games to volleyball games and now has got into the competition season. They had their first one in mid October and took 1st place. 

In preparation for the upcoming smart pill test Johnny had to stop taking his daily medication that helps him digest food 48 hours before the test. He woke up in the morning 14 hours after missing his first dose completely nauseous and vomiting. So he immediately took his meds and got into the doctors for a few bags of IVs. Because of this his test was postponed. Then we decided from this point forward it would be better for him to go to the doctor at least twice a week to get IV fluids to keep him from having 2-3 days hospital stays and missing all that work. For me, The work comp doctor really sucked and didn’t have much help for me. So I changed a few things at my desk and I'll just deal with it for now.

 We ended the month with  Drayce catching Hand foot and mouth for the second time! (When will it end) Then some Halloween activities and the boys trick or treating as Buzz Lightyear and Woody! Ps- they were the absolute cutest! 

November was here and we we’re in full cheer mode with a competition every weekend! Which also is tough because Johnny has little to no energy at all and just wants to sleep. Plus taking two little Boys to a 5-6 hour competition is not easy! But Nevaeh and her team brought home a few more first place finishes before heading into the regional competition where they competed at the small Junior Varisty level and took 5th place out of 15 teams. She has also started going to private tumbling to work on her back handspring, at the recommendation of her coach. They really see something in her but she needs more tumbling in order to advance in the future! So amazing! 

At Johnnys kidney check up he had his levels drawn and he was down 23 for his GFR number. His nephrologist then recommended he start calling the dyalisis and transplant centers to get the process started. So I got on the phone right away and had them send us all the paperwork that needed to be filled out and sent it back in. He is now going to the Kidney doctor once a month to have his labs drawn and check his levels. They have to continue to watch his levels very close to make sure that he does not go into complete kidney failure. The time was coming for us to head out of town on a Mexican Rivera cruise with our friends but instead we canceled because of all the in and outs of the hospital for Johnny. As bummed as we were we knew this was best for him. So we took the kiddos to an overnight stay at Great wolf lodge. Turns out the Cashmore boys don’t really like water and swimming so much... they take after their Dad in that department lol. 

Now Nevaeh was headed to her state Competition. She and her team took first place. We are all so proud of her and each of her teammates for such an amazing performance!  

We closed out the month with a wonderful Thanksgiving with family followed by 2 trips to the urgent care for sick kiddos. I swear our children always get super sick on the weekend when the doctors are closed. Both boys have colds and ear infections. So onto the antibiotics! And then news from my boss that she was quitting! UGH... end of the year is not a good time on me to have my boss quit! But what’s one more stress and headache?! 

Now were are in the final month of the year. After enjoying a Bronco game with friends I came home to Drayce not feeling well. He was having a hard time breathing and had a high fever. So I rushed over to the urgent care again. We walked in and they checked his oxygen levels and noticed they were only at 80 so they sent us to Children's ER. We were there for 5 hours getting steroids and oxygen. How scary!!! They diagnosed him with croup and said to watch his breathing carefully over the next 24 hours. 

Onto Johnny... At his monthly appointment his creatinine levels were up to 3.4 and his GFR at 22. We are hoping that we get a call from the transplant center to start the intake process ASAP! The GI doctor has rescheduled Johnnys smart pill test and he is now preparing for that. He went into the doctor and got the pill swallowed it and then could not eat or drink anything for 6 hours... which isn't so good for someone in kidney failure that needs to keep himself hydrated. All things seemed to be going okay until day 2 of the test. Johnny went to check his transmitter and noticed that it was dead... so he wasn't sure if the test was over or what happened. This happen to be a Friday afternoon so the doctors office was already closed. So into the weekend we go.... We were able to get out of the house for a bit and enjoy our annual Christmas party with Friends. All things were going well until I got a call that my Great Grandpa was in the hospital and things were not looking good for him. So we left and I headed straight to the hospital. Such a sad place to be but I had to be there for my Grandpa and my family. 

 Monday rolled around we got the worst news that my Grandpa had passed away. :( He was a wonderful man and will be missed by everyone. This was also the first day that I was without my boss, so I had double the work load to do. But at that time it didnt matter I was very upset with the sad news. We laid him to rest just 3 days after he passed. It was a beautiful service and I am so glad I got to see a lot of my family that I have not seen in years. 

With all that has gone on Johnny and I have not really had anytime to enjoy each other so we were looking forward to a night out at his company Christmas party. My mom was going to keep the boys for the night giving us a chance to sleep in. WAHOOOOO!!! As we were enjoying our night my mom frantically calls both us over and over until one of us answers. She tells me that my brother was involved in a motorcycle accicent and was heading to the hospital by ambulance. She found back up care for our boys. So we left the party and went to the hospital to see my brother. He was pretty banged up and bloody. Thankfully he was wearing a helmet and his injury's were not life threatening. We stayed up there until about midnight, left to go get the boys and head home to get a few hours of sleep. I was back up to the hospital after 3 hours to see him off to surgery on that Saturday morning before Christmas. Now that I am on my own at work I have been working 12-16 hour days plus the weekends and man is it kicking my butt! But moms never have time to stop so I just have to keep on going. We had plans to go check out the lights with the kiddos that night and then I was back to work on Sunday for a few hours. 

Johnny had his follow up appointment at the GI doctor about his smart pill test a week later and they told him that the test was inconclusive because the pill was "bouncing around too much". I am not sure how this even happens, but pretty much it was a waste of time! Thankfully they are not going to make him redo the test, we will just have to wait to schedule the surgery. Then he got the call that we have been waiting for... the transplant center has now scheduled him for a two day appointment in January to get the process started. Thank goodness!! I know that its just the beginning but its a start in the right direction for him. 

My brother was also discharged from the hospital on that Monday. He has a long road of recovery but he is here with us. This year has been such a disaster so it was only fitting for the UPS driver to loose Bentley's christmas gift not once but twice. There was no where for us to go buy it locally so I was devasted that he would not get the one gift he asked Santa for. But by the grace of god Johnny got a call from a random guy saying that our package was delivered to his house. That man literally saved Bentley's Christmas!! We could not be more thankful for him. 

 We enjoyed a nice Christmas eve with Johnnys side of the family, and then Christmas Day with my family. We are all looking forward to a new year, with a fresh start. I am thankful every day for my health, my kids, my husband and his strength, and all of my loving friends and family. We hope your year was great and 2020 is even better!